Saturday, June 30, 2012

Dew drops of the dawn.




Sings old nightingale
Ancient myth shines through darkness
Truth in melody
~
Bosom of the loved
True feelings rush to form tears
Smiles hidden beneath
~
Dew drops of the dawn
Crystal lumps of happiness
Truly shapes your day


Here is my attempt to be more true to the Haiku rules as suggested by LEO. I appreciate his effort in helping us truly understand the concept behind this beautiful form of poetry. The three set of haiku today are not a chain, but only related through the concept of 'TRUE'. Expecting your true feedbacks. That will be much appreciated! :)

This Haiku is written for the Haiku Heights. The prompt for the week is 'TRUE'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Longing luscious hair
Dreaming the beautiful life
Make peace with the Dove
 
Read my entry for the DOVE contest hosted on IndiBlogger --> How Dove nourished my Soul..!
Vote for me if you like it here.


37 comments:

  1. Each set is beautifully penned... the word TRUE is the most used in your post this week ;D loved reading it... as fresh as drops of dew :) your blog shapes my vision anyhow :)

    P.S I'm lovin the fact I am the first to comment!

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    1. Thanks a lot Maharukh! :) M glad ur d first one too... a true heart always shows! As is yours! :)

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  2. A nice improvement in your haiku writing ~ A single image to write about is great like the bosom of the beloved and dew drops of dawn ~ What would really work too is too avoid using sweeping words like happiness and truth ~ Use instead a vivid image to show an example of it, and contrast or complement it in the third line like this:

    Dew drops of the dawn
    crystals soft on vase of blooms,
    salt on native tongue

    Native tongue is used to denote being true to oneself ~ Hope you don't mind my heartfelt feedback ~

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    1. That was soooo very insightful Grace.. Appreciate ur effort to make me better... Thank u so much... It would be gr8 if u kept suggesting/correcting... i love the learning experience... it makes the journey al d more special.. Thank you Grace :)

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  3. Wonderful haiku ~ always penned well ~ love the ...crystal lumps of happiness, lovely line ~~ thanks, ^_^ (A Creative Harbor)

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  4. Your last haiku is beautiful...I could use some crystal lumps of happiness at the moment:)

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    1. Hehe... Sending loads of lumps ur way! :) Thank u so much!

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  5. Yes, send me a lump of happiness too....all your works are so well-crafted....

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    1. On your way Joanne! :D Thank u so much... These comments make my day!

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  6. Wonderful. Loved all of them. Pleasant and calmly suffuses the message into heads and hearts.

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    1. And the daisy? is it daisy? Its beautiful.

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    2. Thanks a lot Jayanth! Yes... i definitely think that's a daisy! :)

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  7. Lovely words and beautiful picture!:)

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  8. Liked first and last, bit confused with second, I would like to know more on it!

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  9. Awesome Haiku! You are so good at this.

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    1. Aww... Thanks a lot Susan.. Ur too kind! :)

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  10. crystal lumps of happiness... beautiful lines... you were indeed true to the form...

    http://chaigaramchai.blogspot.in/2012/06/true-haiku-jule-1-2012.html

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  11. Beautiful set...and I loved the first one...esp the line...'Truth in melody'..

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  12. Beautiful haiku set on love, truth and feelings!!

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  13. The lakes at sunrise
    The river and waterfowl
    Perfect by themselves

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  14. A good attempt to write in the classical 5-7-5 form. Love the way in which you have used the prompt TRUE. Thank you so much for sharing.

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    1. The pleasure is mine :) Much appreciated!

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  15. Crystal lumps of happiness - reminded me of sugar crystals ... and an equally sweet haiku :-)

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  16. Truthfully blessed,great haiku set Pranita!

    Hank

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  17. VERY nice!!! Better and better!!! :)

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    1. Awww... you made my day with this! :)

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